You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I skipped work to stalk him.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
