ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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