you would pick up someone in the library
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
