Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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