I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
