yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
