I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
