I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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