that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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