I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize