In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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