That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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