There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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