i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
