So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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