I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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