I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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