Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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