The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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