i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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