You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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