I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
