i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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