who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
