I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
