I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
