I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
