I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize