I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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