Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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