I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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