Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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