I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize