she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
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