I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
