how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
