i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize