bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
