If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
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