It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
