This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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