So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
