How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
