I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
