Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
