no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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