If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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