i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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