But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
He passed out mid-signature
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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