people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize