So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
