I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
