I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize