so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
