Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I currently don't understand fingers.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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