We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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