He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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