i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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