Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
stop calling my apartment porn island.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize