One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Randomize
