I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
We are all done wearing pants today
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize