I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
