please come you make the beer taste better
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
