Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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