sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
