I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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