He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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