physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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