so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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