wanna go halves on a baby?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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