dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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