i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
