people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
