I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I AM VODKA MAN
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
