So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
