Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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